does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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