lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need a burrito and a hug.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
