I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
