Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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