It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
