I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The ass gains better be worth it
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
