Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
