how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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