Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
