there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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