I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
