sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
