My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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