You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
