I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Green mimosas i think yes
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize