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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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