Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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