Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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