I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
