Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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