now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
