But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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