another moral hangover. fuck.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
