I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
