I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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