life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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