One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
