is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
