I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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