whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize