And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
