I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize