I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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