I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Is it because I queefed?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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