I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
