I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
