i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
