you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize