Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
