I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
