it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
