Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
