Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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