So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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