I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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