70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
