This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
