I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
