Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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