Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
