Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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