I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
