i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
