I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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