My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
