But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
