new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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