I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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