I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
