I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
